How many times have you retorted ‘we’re just friends’ when one of your girlfriends raises her eyebrows and gives you a questioning look when you mention a guy?
I’ve always been a fiercely protective defender of the theory guys and girls can just be friends without it ever crossing the relationship line but opinions on the subject are surprisingly diverse, so I grabbed a group of guys to see what their take on the issue is.
Can guys and girls just be friends or do they harbour hidden agendas? After the promise of anonymity, the guys got talking….
They unanimously agreed guys and girls can be just friends. That said, four of them admitted to having fancied or currently fancying a female friend, so there are possibly some hidden agendas!
Fancying a friend can prove awkward for guys as my bunch admitted they become less relaxed around a girl they like which could and has affected their friendships. They also admitted it’s hard when the feeling isn’t reciprocated and their friend dates someone else. “The worse part of fancying a friend is hearing the words, ‘I like you as a friend’ but….” moaned one guy.
When quizzed on whether it’s easier to be friends with a girl who’s taken rather than single, most said it didn’t really matter. Two added their continued friendship with a girl would depend on her boyfriend though. “If their partner is the jealous type, it’s almost impossible to maintain a close friendship.”
So what makes a girl just a friend opposed to a potential girlfriend? Some interesting answers were revealed. “ You know it’s just a friend when you get on like a house on fire and trust the girl with your closest secrets but there’s no sexual attraction,” answered one.
One laughed, “It’s difficult to say without sounding shallow, but their looks, style, and personality. Sometimes you think a girl could potentially be girlfriend material but after spending time together you realise you’ll only ever be friends.”
And why do guys love spending time with girl mates opposed to male mates? “Bitching!” yelled one, amid laughter. It seems us girls also allow guys to bring out their sensitive sides with three of them mentioning this, “ I talk more about sensitive issues with female friends” said one. “It’s easier to open up to girls as there isn’t that macho thing going on,” added another and a third said, “I feel much more comfortable being around a female friend if I’m upset.”
One guy openly admitted to loving shopping with the girls! “I love shopping and looking good so I often go shopping with girl mates – my boy mates just don’t get that!” With this, there was silence so I moved on…
If the guys knew a girl mate liked them, would they suddenly become awkward? One looked blank, “I probably wouldn’t have a clue, but I’d think about whether I found her sexually attractive or just wanted her friendship,” and two said if they weren’t interested they’d just ignore it. If a girl was brave enough to declare her true feelings for her male mate and the feeling was mutual though, it seems friendship could blossom into love. One said, “If I liked her and she liked me I’d definitely talk to her about it!”
Male mates are great- they’re protective of you and look out for you so when you suddenly bag a hot new boyfriend, I asked them honestly, do they ever get a teeny bit jealous? .. The boys said no, although one added, “It would depend on who the boyfriend was. I wouldn’t be happy if I thought he wasn’t good enough but that’s more protective.”
And do they understand it if a close girl mate confesses her boyfriend is paranoid about their friendship? The guys became split on the subject; one immediately said, “I don’t understand paranoia. The only time I’d understand it was if I’d given the boyfriend reason to be paranoid, by making moves or advances on his girl.” Another disagreed, “I’d totally understand where the boyfriend was coming from so I’d try to spend time with both of them together to show him I wasn’t a threat.”