Love In A Cold (Economic) Climate

The credit crunch may mean there’s less money in your pocket, but it shouldn’t stop you finding romance
As the credit crunch goes about its daily routine, keeping those arrows on the stock market pointing firmly towards the bowels of hell, we’re all beginning to feel the squeeze. Whether it’s rising petrol prices, soaring food costs or redundancy, there’s less money lining our pockets and less moolah to enjoy the finer things in life. Still, we’re not an overly-negative bunch here at GG and there are reasons to be cheerful in these troubled times; because of the crunch, it’s now quite a lot easier to find yourself a new man. With less people available to afford a night out, prowling around bars for prey, more and more lovelorn singletons are seeking new places to meet their latest boyfriend or girlfriend. You might not have any money to do anything when you’re going out with them, but at least sex is still free.

Supermarket Sweep

While finding a potential spouse amongst the aisles of over-inflated cheese blocks and bacon strips may seem unlikely, it’s been heralded as the 21st Century way to find a date. Picture the scene. You’re perusing the shelves for something to stick in the oven for tonight’s meal. Your shopping trolley, pilled up with enough ready meals to keep the International Space Station crew fat for a year, screams singleton (Still, there’s a banana in their somewhere, so at least you’re getting your vitamin C) and consumed by the back of a Ragu jar, you absently clash trolleys with a dashing, young gentleman. Grasp the opportunity to bond and strike up a conversation. You never know where it might lead.

Do say: “Are you a Tesco or Asda kind of man?”

Don’t say: “Isn’t the price of cheese ridiculous?”

Second Hand Love

While high street stores have been slowly sobbing over their sales projections, business in the world of charity shops has been booming. Oxfam and their kind-hearted kin has been one of the few beneficiaries of the dwindling economy; more and more shoppers forgo the inflated prices of the high street and opt to trawl through the second-hand racks for those as-good-as-new bargains. And why not? No longer the sanctuary of home-knitted jumpers, there are some great finds hidden past the Mills & Boon section. The best part is, these havens of charity provide great grounds for a relationship. For one, at least you know the handsome hunk next to you has an ethical conscious. For two, at least you know he’s handsome. While men normally get intimidated by the flashing neon signs of high street fashion stores, often only venturing into them clinging onto their partner’s arm, the neutral colours and calm atmosphere of your local Oxfam prove to be just the tonic for relaxing the male shopper. Strike up a conversation and see where it gets you. Although if he’s shopping around the romantic fiction, best set your sights on another one.

Do say: “I love helping the aged.”

Don’t say: “I bet someone has died in this dress.”

Handing Out Love

With unemployment climbing the walls faster than a coked-up cat, you’re likely to find your local job centre crammed with potential mates. While you should avoid those who look like they’ve recently appeared on the Jeremy Kyle show, there is probably a wealth of new talent (so to speak), just waiting for a new lass. And a job. At least you could spend lots of time together during the day. You may have lost your job, but at least you won’t have lost your love life.

Do say: “I lost my job, but found a new friend.”

Don’t say: “So what skills do you have? Wink, wink.”

Roomies

Struggling to keep up with your mortgage replacements? Pack it all in and dive into the latest money-saving craze: Flat sharing. While moving in with a relative bunch of strangers might seem a little too undergraduate for your tastes, it’s a great way to make a new bunch of friends, save some cash and maybe find yourself a new room mate. Literally. Although you might be a little uncertain of moving in with a man (They’re not that terrible to live with), at least you can get him familiar with putting the toilet seat down and washing his clothes before you take him to your parents.

Do say: “I can’t wait to get to know you.”

Don’t say: “I can’t believe I’m cleaning up after you already.”

Words: Tom Mason

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